| Click EasyEdit to add your favorite Shane quotes (cite episode, if possible).
- "You cant miss the Bear!" (Episode 1.1)
- "I think pink's really your color you fuckwad! Who's fruit punch now?" (Episode 1.1)
- This is the moment where i finally become cool, right?
Greeting Agrestic Elementary school, Class of 2006. Hello teachers, parents, step- parents, siblings, boyfriends and girlfriendsof parents, assorted relatives, friends of your mom or dad who you call aunt and uncle who really aren't, and Principal Dutch. As I stand before you today, on the brink of Junior high, here is what i have to say:YOU HAVE FAILED US ALL! Everthing is not okay. We have become alienated, desensitized, angry, and frighened. If we picture agrestic as an airplane, a grand, soaring jet, carrying us through the sky. I think you all need to understand there are motherf***ing snakes on this motherf***ing Plane.
"Yeah, but I'm a blasphemous liberal Jew, what could be worse than that?" (Talking th Andy) "Can you convince mom that I'm better off sitting at home all summer than stuck in a classroom full of religious zealots proselytizing a form of fundamentalism that's two clicks away from Jihad?" - Shane: "You anr a drug dealer." Nancy: "Yes Shane, I grow and sell marijuana, it's organic, it;s theuraputic, it;s off the earth...like tomatoes." Shane: "Yeah, like tomatoes."
- "I fell though the skylight, but don't worry I'm okay."
- Andy: "How did it go at the Tournament?" Shane: " I brought shame to my elders." Andy: "Well, that happens sometimes."
- (Nancy is banging on a pot and singing into a microphone horribly, "Polly wally doodle") Shane: "Stop, you have to stop." Andy: "Yeah, yeah stop." Nancy: "Not until Silas comes out, this is my invasion of Panama" Shane: "Like when we got the canal?" Andy: "No. What do they teach you in school?" Shane: "How to pass the weekly standardized tests to get the school more funding."
- Nancy: "There's global Warming, unless you want the planet to dissolve in one big ocean." Shane: "Global Worming is just God's will, I liked the Range Rover, that car is gay!" Nancy: "Don't be ignorant just because it's in right now."
- Shane: (Talking to Silas) "That's right, I'm a big fag so you can suck my dick. Please can I come with you, Mom?" Nancy: "No, honey. I need some alone time and you just told your brother to suck you dick. Gross!"
- (Lenny lights a candle) Shane: "Isn't that a fire hazard?" Lenny: "It's on a dish" Shane: "What ir there's an earthquake?" Lenny: "Well, I think the odds are in your favor that the two houes you live in won't burn down... althogh your mothe is a wild card."
- Shane: "I want to stay. I'm not leaving." Lenny: "Fine. It'll add to the value of the house. Three bedrooms, two bath, and a little boy. I can sell it to a priest."
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Name- Nancy Botwin 
Name- Judah Botwin 
Name: Silas Botwin 
Name- Andy Botwin 
Gretchen
Name- Isabelle Hodes
