Weeds Wiki | Official Weeds Fansite - Recently Updated Pages

Weeds Quotes Season 1

twinklebear — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:28:36 CST

◄Back to: Weeds Wiki

Share smokin' Weeds quotes!
Which lines got you hooked on Weeds? Reach way back into the cobwebs and pull out the best Weeds quotes from season one. Read 'em, write 'em and laugh, friends!

Click EasyEdit to post quotes here! (Don't see the EasyEdit button? You need to sign in or sign up.)

Crockyhouse

*My favorite Weeds* quote**: Silas: C'mon, think of the time this'll save us on foreplay! You just whisper ''Shoot me in the optimum kill zone'' and I'll be good to go! Quinn: I could whisper ''linoleum'' and you'd be good to go!
Said by: Silas	Said by: Quinn
Weeds Season 1 Episode: You Can't Miss The Bear (1.01)

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote: Alright, listen closely, I'm not going to beat around the bush. Ha ha ha, your little body's changing - it's all good, believe me. Problem now is... every time we jerk the gherkin, we got a lot of unwanted sticky white stuff everywhere, right? Right. So... first order of business: No more socks!They're expensive, gumming up the works plumming-wise. Now you might be thinking to yourself, "But, Uncle Andy, What do I do with all that Pearl Jam if I can't spew it into Mr. Sock?" Glad you asked... You can have a lovely time tugging the tiger in the shower each morning - that eliminates the need for a goo glove. But, the day is long, masturbation's fun, so unless we want to take 4 or 5 showers every day, we're gonna need some other options. So, let's start with the basics. Tissues. Perfectly acceptable backstop for all that creamy Italian. They can be rough and dry on such soft, sensitive skin and it can stick to your dick head like a ****' band-aid---Ouch. From there we move on to more lubricated flack-catchers--specifically, bananas. Step one: Peel the banana. Step two: Slip the peel over your Randy Johnson and start pitching. Now, for extra credit, warm up the peel in the microwave. Not too hot! Serious yowza. Also, olive oil, moisturizer, honey, spit, butter, hair conditioner, and vaseline can all be used for lube. In my opinion, the best lube.... is lube. So save your allowance and invest in some soon. Alright, moving on - when you tug you thomas on the toilet -ffft- shoot right into the bowl. In bed - soft t-shirt, perhaps a downy hand towel of your very own that you don't mind tossing after tossing. There's no such thing as polishing the raised scepter of love too much. It reduces stress, it enhances immune function. Also, practice makes perfect, so work on your control now, while you're a solo artist---you'll be playing some long, happy duets in the future. Okay. Class dismissed.
Said by: Andy Botwin	Said to:To Shane about Masturbation
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 1 Episode:

◄Back home to: Weeds on Showtime

Episode 7: Higher Education

jorer33 — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:25:27 CST

Psst, hey you, Weeds Junkie...

Click EasyEdit to help build the Weeds episode guides!

EPISODE INFO

Episode title: Higher Education

Episode number: 7

Original air date: 9-19-2005

Directed by: Tucker Gates

Written by: Shawn Schepps

Guest Star(s): Maulik Pancholy (Sanjay), Allie Grant (Isabelle Hodes), Shoshannah Stern (Megan), Renée Victor (Lupita), Andy Milder (Dean Hodes)

RATE THIS EPISODE

Episode synopsis: Nancy takes a risk by recruiting Silas' tutor to sell pot for her on his college campus. Celia's breast cancer surgery gives her a new outlook on life as her mother comes to visit. Nancy gets a visit from a rival pot dealer. Shane makes a new friend while Andy befriends the mom.

HOW'S BUSINESS?

What happened? --

"Oh, sh@#! moments: ----when nancy's range rover gets pennied

Nancy's new tricks of the trade: ---- Learning the Pyrmid

Fierce competition: ---- Rival Dealer at Valley

Money ins and outs: ----

NANCY'S ASSOCIATES & BUYERS

Name
Occupation

FAN FEEDBACK

Show Highs:

Nancy car is pennied

Choice Quotes:

You made your bed. Now **** in it.

"i am a highly intelligent underachiever" sanjay to nancy, also, "it's all about the benjamins"

Buzz Killers:

Real-life Parallels:

Weeds 101 — what we learned about weed on this episode:

Protect your turf.

BURNING QUESTIONS
Unanswered questions, speculation, rumors, theories, cliffhangers? Add 'em here or post a comment.

Who is the hot single mom?

WEEDS SOUNDTRACK
Catalogue the tracks from this episode:

Weeds theme song, "Little Boxes," performed by: Malvina Reynolds

Other musical highlights: --

"Work Song" - Dan Reeder

MUSIC APPRECIATION
Are you a fan of the bands featured on this episode? Create a perfect playlist of their songs for others to discover:

EPISODE VIDEO & PHOTOS

Isabelle and Dean Hodes like Celia's
new attitude towards life.

Nancy Botwin

IncognitoS16 — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:10:11 CST

BACK TO: WEEDS CHARACTERS

ABOUT NANCY

Played by: Mary-Louise Parker

Nicknames: Nancy Pants (Pants), Suburban Baroness of Bud, Snowflake, The Godmother, MILF, Barbie

Alias: Lacy LaPlante (Québec, Canada)

Occupation: Soccer Mom, Pot Dealer, Assistant to Sullivan Groff

Signature look: Stretch jeans, blousey tanks or tees, heels, wavy, tousled hair. More on Nancy's Style...

Family: The Botwins: husband Judah Botwin died suddenly of a heart attack. Mother of Silas (age 15) and Shane (12) Botwin. Also accommodating for her deceased husband's troublesome brother, Andy Botwin.

Strengths: She is a very understanding parent, and a very strong woman who is relentless in whatever she sets her sights on.

Weaknesses: Although quite the entrepreneur, she encounters a lot of business failures and bad luck. A mixture which, undoubtedly, would lead to debt. She also makes really bad decisions - she seems to act before she thinks things through.

Nancy's story: A widowed mother of two, after her husband Judah Botwin passed away after a sudden heart attack, Nancy is left with a house and two children to support. So, whether it be wise or otherwise, she resorts to becoming a pot dealer.

Talk about Nancy

Nancy's biggest fan?

Click the EasyEdit to add to Nancy's profile!

RELATIONSHIPS

FAMILY: THE BOTWINS

Judah Botwin
Deceased husband
What we know about their relationship: The references made to Judah throughout the multiple seasons of weeds suggests that everyone loved Judah. The kids, Nancy, Uncle Andy even non-family members would make references to what a respectable man he was.

Silas Botwin
Eldest son
What we know about their relationship:
Nancy and Silas have a very strong mother-son bond, which has grown stronger through the seasons. Trying her hardest to keep Silas out of trouble and in school, Nancy has pushed Silas through a series of rough patches while dealing juvenile delinquency, abortion, and vandalism, all while trying to keep him away from the "family business". In Season 3, while serving out community service, Silas begins dealing. In season 4 Silas learns to grow and starts his own grow house with his much older girlfriend.

Shane Botwin
Younger son

What we know about their relationship: At first the show portrays Shane as being 'The Weirdo' of the family, meanwhile gives the impression Nancy is worried about Shane's unusual and, at times, offensive behaviour.

Andy Botwin
Brother-in-law
What we know about their relationship: Andy is portrayed both as 'The Cool Uncle' to the Botwin children, and as somewhat of a 'freeloader' to his sister-in-law. While attempting to assist Nancy with the upbringing of her fatherless children, not to mention coping with her late husband's passing, Andy, at times, does more harm than good.

ROMANCES

Peter Scottson (RIP)
DEA Agent
Relationship status: Husband number 2 - marriage ended due to his murder
Backstory: Met when Shane bit Peter's son's foot in a karate tournament. Married him to ensure that he would never be able to testify against her for being a pot dealer.
Pivotal episodes: S1 E10, S2 E12, S3 E8

Conrad Shepard
Nancy's Business Partner / Botanist
Relationship status: Business Partners and Sexual Relationship - possibility of more, if Nancy did not have to flee at the end of season 3
Backstory: With a constant underlying tension, many fans of Weeds believe this is simply a 'budding' relationship that is just around the corner. The pinnacle came in season 2, when Nancy and Conrad actually kissed while at the grow house. However, when questioned about it later, Conrad replied, "It's just business between us. Always has been."
Pivotal episodes: S2 E11

Sullivan Groff
Nancy's Boss / Developer for the Majestic Community
Relationship Status: Sexual Relationship - ended
Backstory: Nancy started to work for Sullivan as his assistant. But Sullivan soon wanted more (as in sex) i don't think he will ever want a relationship out of Nancy but i do think they will do it more.

Esteban Reyes
Mayor of Tijuana, Mexico / Arms and Drug Lord
Relationship Status: 3rd Husband/ Father of Nancy's 3rd child
Backstory: Esteban Reyes is the mayor of Tijuana (running for governor now), who secretly worked as a drug, arms and human trafficker and dealer. He has a romantic relationship with Nancy Botwin and at the end of season four, found out that she was pregnant with his child. In Season 5 their son is born and then he marries Nancy.

Andy Botwin
Pot dealer
Relationship Status: Brother-in-law, but totally in love with Nancy
Backstory:

FRIENDS/KNOWN ASSOCIATES

Conrad Shepard
Cannabis Botanist
Status: Business partner
Backstory: Heylia James' nephew. Conrad urged Nancy to 'think bigger', and helped with cultivation, the grow house,

Celia Hodes
Aggrestic City Council, PTA President - Employee at Maternity cover store
Relationship status: Pain in the Butt
Backstory: Sneaky women, who tries to get her way however she can. Is crazy and mean. Treats her friends and family horribly. In season 3 she takes te fall for the grow house and is sent to jail. She is let out in season 4, where she works for Nancy in the Maternity cover store and becomes addicted to cocaine and is sent to rehab.

Sanjay
Pot Seller
Relationship status: One of Nancy's Seller's - Employee at Maternity cover store
Backstory: Silas' tutor. Nancy recruits him as a seller to hit the college market. Is gay, and was mercy ****** by U-Turn's friend Clinique, whom he impregnated and is now living with and raising their child. In season 4, both he and Clinique were helping Nancy out and working in the Maternity cover store.

Valerie Scottson
Radiologist
Relationship status: Peter's Ex Wife
Backstory: Nancy's stalks her, becomes her friend, keeps the insurance money and spoils the friendship. She is a complete *****.

Doug Wilson
CPA, Aggrestic City Council,
Relationship Status: Nancy, Dean and Andy's Friend - Customer of Nancy
Backstory:

Dean Hodes
Lawyer
Relationship Status:
Nancy, Doug and Andy's Friend - Customer of Nancy
Backstory:
Buys weed from Nancy, Married to Celia Hodes, cheats on her, and she cheats on him with Doug thus they separate. Gets fired from his job but then becomes his daughters manager (a Huskaroos model) and in season 4 moves away to turn around his life and work as a lawyer. Not much is seen of him in season 4 and is no longer a main character in seaosn 5.

CUSTOMERS

Name: U-turn Occupation- Thug and Pot Seller Backstory: Bad Ass, threatens Nancy and takes control of her oportaion and forces Conrad and Heylia to grow for him versus in a partnership with Nancy as they all owe him a debt now. Is killed in season 3 by his thug buddy.	Name: Josh Wilson Occupation: Student and Pot Seller Backstory: Son of Doug Wilson, is gay and caught in bed with one of Nnacy's neighbors after seeing him preform oral sex in the neighbor's hot tub. Is only introduced in season 1, episode 1, but is refered to as Doug's son through out the next 4 seasons. Nancy's first customer we meet in the first season.
Name Occupation: Backstory: ----	Name Occupation: Backstory: ----

NANCY BOTWIN QUOTES

Click EasyEdit to add your favorite Nancy quotes (cite episode, if possible).

"People got stoned for The Passion of the Christ? That's disturbing." (Episode: 1)

I'm the suburban baroness of bud, Nancy.
I'm not a dealer, im a mother who happens to distribute illegal products through a sham bekery set up by my ethically questionable CPA and his lawyer friend.
You've made your bed now f**** in it.

I don't give a flying F*** if you do have Cancer, put your t*** away in front of my kid.

(Talking to Andy) "Get in there and finish frying your eggs, and think of a menu that includes pork-wrapped items. And wash your hands! All I need now is for the boys to eat heroin eggs for breakfast."
Cop: "I thought you were getting your husbands ashes?" Nancy: "I forgot... We buried him."
"Nice, Shane goes on a paint rampage, gets suspended. The two of you ditch school to f*** in my guest room. I've got everything under control."
"Please tell me I didn't just hear that you had cybersex with a fifteen-year old deaf girl."
"Andy, this is my business, it's nothing to do with you. Go downstairs and do what you do best, patrol the couch in your underwear."
"Thug means never having to say your sorry..."
"Silas, don't swear at your brother, Shane, don't antagonize Tara, Tara, keep savin' it for the Lord!... Where the f*** is Andy?!"
" I'm a drug dealer, there, I said it, I'm a F***ing drug dealer."
"Judah, If you're still here... I tried."
Guillermo: " It's the Circle of life." Nancy: "Hakuna Matata"
(to Celia) "Fine. If we regroup the group, you'll be in the group."
(Referring to Why she is dealing) " I started selling so I could maintain my lifestyle... Not dismantle it."
Nancy: "Let me rephrase. You sold me ******** skank weed. And I can't move it and i want a refund." Heylia: "And I want an ass like Beyonce's. Ain't nether of us gettin' what we want."
(After tripping Deven) "Deven, Honey, you should really watch where you're going."
" I believe my brother-in-law's exact words were, "Dude, meed the finest jit with the finest ****."
(To Doug smoking pot in his car) "Unless you want to go back to buying ditchweed from your house keeper's cousin, I suggest you put away the pipe, hide the open bag of pot and get your head out of your ass. What are you thinking?"
(Talking to Doug) "She's from Ananeim not Bangkok, it's not like she can shoot tennis balls out her ****."
Conrad: (To Nancy) " Are you calling all black people stupid?" Nancy: "And lazy and they also steal." Heylia: "But we sings and dances real good."
Nancy: " I just heard a ten year old got busted. A ten year old! You're a ******* liar. Josh: "The kid told me he wad 37."
Nancy: "Give me a little respect, I'm the biggest game in the private community of Agrestic. Haylia: Drugs sell them selves biscuit, you ain't ****."
Celia: (Whining) "Have you ever had sex with a woman?" Nancy: "None of your business." Celia: "Oh come on, tell me..." Nancy: "Ok, I slept with a woman in college once. Celia: "How was it?" Nancy: "Boring" Celia: "Well maybe you didn't do it right." Nancy: "She said it was the best she'd ever had." Celia: "What are you doing Friday night?"
Conrad: "How you doin?" Nancy: "Me? If this doesn't work out, I could end up being the oldest Gap employee in Southern Colifornia."
Nancy: "But most of all, I didn't Xerox your license and put it in a state controlled databank." Doug: "What? I'm in a databank? Nancy: "You sure are. So when your wives find out and divorce you, they'll get custody of your Children because their overpriced attorneys will be able to prove you're nothing but a bunch of irresponsible pot heads who can't be trusted? Doug: " I'm in a databank? Dean: "Celia would have a field day with that." (Nancy nods) Doug: "I - I - I'm up for Council re-election, I can't be linked to any pot clubs. Any of you guys know any good hackers?"
" I know, you're thinking "she doesn't look Jewish." I come from welsh stock, actually. Lotta coal- miners in Wales, not a lot of Jews."
Nancy: "Talk to Shane about jerking off." Andy: " I'm all over it."
(Nancy is banging on a pot and singing into a microphone Horribly "Pally Wally Doodle") Shane: "Stop, you have to stop." Andy: "Yeah Yeah Stop" Nancy: "Not until Silas comes out, this is my invasion of Panama" Shane: "Like when we got the canal?" Andy: "No, What do they teach you in school?" Shane: "How to pass the weekly standardized test to get the school more funding."
(To Shane) "Go to your mediocre Public School"
Nancy: "There's global warming, unless you want the planet to dissolve in one big ocean." Shane: "Global Worming is just God's will, I liked the Range Rover, that car is gay!! Nancy: "Don't be ignorant just because it's in right now."
(Talking to Sullivan about the assistant job.) "Oh I don't do porn so much anymore I found it very tiring."
Nancy: (Seeing Celia in her kitchen) "Oh Jesus, you scared me." Celia: "Good. I hope you peed yourpanties... Where is he?" Nancy: "Who?" Celia: "All right, I guess you have to ask that. (Imitating Nancy) Who Celia? The one who called you a drunk at a public assembly or the one who stole civic property?" Nancy: " I have no idea what you're talking about!" Celia: (Pulling a tape from her bag) " I have Silas, on video, stealing." (Nancy takes the tape, throws it, and smashes it with her shoes.) Nancy:Nancy: "Oh not today!" Shane: (Coming in the Kitchen) "Mum, we're gonna be late" (he sees Celia with a gun, Nancy takes him down with her) Nancy: "A Where the hell did you get a gun?" Celia: " I've borrowed it from pen." (Celia shoots in the wall. She's all excited) "Oh my God!" (She calmed her self) " I only had one bullet, I was gonna shoot Doug. I'll see you at graduation." (She takes her bag and leaves) " I have no idea what you're talking about." (Celia pulls a gun from her bag)
(Nancy opens the door) Kat: "Kat!" Nancy: " Yow lost your cat?" Kat: " I'm Kat. You're Nancy, right?"
Silas: (On the phone with Nancy) "Hi Nancy." Nancy: (While U-Turn and the Armenians are pointing their guns at her) "Hi... did you take something that doesn't belong to you?" Silas: " I want in." (Nancy sighs, Silas has her weed in the back of his car, Celia arrives in a police car) Celia: "That's him! That's the little ****** who stole my cameras! Arrest him!" Silas: "****" (Silas hangs up. Nancy has to hang up too, five guns pointing at her...)
Nancy: " I've got bills! How am I supposed to put food on my table, if you keep upping my debt!" U-Turn: "Get a ******* job."
(After Nancy goes in a Latin Club) "Hola. U-Turn sent me. I'm supposed to pickup a package." (The barman stares) "U-Turn... Para Obtengo el Paqueto..." (Keeps staring) " Any chance you speak French?"
Nancy: "Tim's kind of a ********." Valerie: "**** you, I love my son." Nancy: " I'm sorry, Of course you do." Valerie: " I love my ******** son."
Silas: " I'd like my phone back." Nancy: "No, as I told you before, I've other plans for you. Coming with me to the growhouse tomorrow." Silas: "Should I be excited about this, ot is this like, punishment?" Nancy: "This is also like, a way to learn about a business from the ground up. Literally. this is also like, away to keep you occupied so you don't, like, go off and do something else, like, stupid. Like get it?"
(To Silas) "We don't **** where we eat... or eat where we ****... either way. Words of wisdom."
Shane: (Talking to Silas) "That's right, I'm a big *** so you can suck my dick. Please can I come with you, Mom?" Nancy: "No, honey. I need some alone time and you just told your brother to suck your dick. Gross!"
Andy: "Are we gonna die tonight?" Nancy: "Probably not." Andy: "Still, we could. Let's say thoughtful things about each other." Nancy: "You're a good person. You've really stepped up for the kids. You make me laugh. I'm glad you're part of the family." Andy: "I miss Yael." Nancy: "Thank you. Andy. That's very sweet."
Guillermo: "I had to smother a guy with a pillow once. My arms got tired, you?" Nancy: "Not so much. It was Tempur Pedic. Conformed to her face."
"Oh you think there's a tiny little immiarant stuffed in my lipstick?"
" I've had a particularly challenging last 24 hours, but in the drive-through at Popeye's, I found myself saying, "Family Combo, please!", and it was a moment of clarity."
Celia: " I want my tooth back." Nancy: "You don;t get your tooth back. I keep your tooth. I drill a tiny hole in it and wear it around my neck. I become your God."
(TO Celia) "Try not to look Homeless....."

FUN FACTS

Click EasyEdit to add interesting trivia or observations about Nancy (cite relevant episode, if possible).

Nancy needs reminded of what item that does not come with batteries? (Season 1)
What Cherry did Nancy get popped in Season 1?
What is like a pyramid?
The first part of Botwin, "Bot" refers to Botany, the science of plants, and the second part, "win" refers to her winning, or being very good at dealing.
Nancy is blood type O+. The Japanese Blood Type Personality theory states that people with type O blood have the following traits:

Best Traits: Agreeable, sociable, an optimist.

Worst Traits: Vain, careless, ruthless.

BACK TO: WEEDS CHARACTERS

Weeds Season 6 Spoilers

loesske — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 12:03:07 CST

CLICK THE EASYEDIT BUTTON ABOVE TO ADD EPISODE DETAILS!

■ HOT TIPS: LEARN HOW TO ADD VIDEO TO THIS PAGE | LEARN HOW TO ADD IMAGES TO THIS PAGE

TBA

Episode Number: 601

Season: 6 Final Season

Original Air Date: Summer 2006

Writer:

Director:

Special Guest(s):

Want to edit this episode guide?

Click EasyEdit to update this page!

Episode Promotional Spoiler

"You are a murderer Nancy"
ON THE SEASON PREMIERE OF WEEDS
"So is settled then, We have all agreed to keep Shane out of Trouble."
A NEW HEMPTRESS TAKES OVER
"Celia would not last a month in this business"....

Source: vippasstorobothouse.blogspot.com

Plot Danglers

Best Moments

Best Quotes

Episode Trivia

PICTURES & VIDEOS

How to add pictures: 1. Click EasyEdit 2. Delete placeholder or instructions 3. Click Image button on toolbar 4. Upload your image 5. Add caption, if desired How to add video: 1. Click EasyEdit 2. Delete placeholder or instructions 3. Click Widget button on toolbar, select YouTube video 4. Search for video or paste in YouTube video embed code 5. Add caption, if desired	Caption
Caption	Caption
Caption	Caption

Episode 1 Mother Thinks the Birds Are After Her

tycroford — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 09:28:49 CDT

Back to Weeds Season 4

Next: Weeds Episode 2, "Lady's a Charm" ►

EPISODE INFO

Episode title: "Mother Thinks the Birds Are After Her"

Episode number: 1

Original air date: June 16, 2008

Directed by: Lee Rose and Burr Steers

Written by:

Jenji Kohan		creator
Michael Platt		writer
Barry Safchik		writer
Shawn Schepps		writer

Guest Star(s): Albert Brooks, Guillermo Diaz, Jack Stehlin, Joey Luthman

RATE THIS EPISODE

Episode synopsis: The Botwin family goes on the run after Majestic is set ablaze. They end up in Ren Mar at Andy and Judah's grandmother Bubbie's. Nancy reunites with Guillermo and learns more about her new job trafficking over the Mexican border.

HOW'S BUSINESS?

So,there's a New Neighbor? -- Rad Ferris lives next door and loves to talk, so Nancy is patiently listening...but where is his mom? Will they meet her? Will he continue to pester them? Will he find out about the ...weeds?

What happened? -- Nancy and co. move in with her father-in-law and her comatose grandmother-in-law

"Oh, sh@#! moments: ----

Nancy's new tricks of the trade: ----

Fierce competition: ----

Money ins and outs: ---- Nancy gets in introduction to drug trafficking across the US/Mexican border complete with border fence.

NANCY'S ASSOCIATES & BUYERS

Guillermo
Drug dealer / Trafficker

Name
Occupation

FAN FEEDBACK

Show Highs:

Celia being in jail

Andy/Nancy moments

Choice Quotes:

Doug "Check it out! It's snowing in SoCal... except they're warm snowflakes....tastes like.. loss and muffins"

Sanjay: "Oh, Oh I do know one Nancy, but her name used to be Vince - is that the same person you're talking about? Vince?"

Nancy: "My children are sleeping next to their unborn cousins. I'm thrilled."

Andy: "Just because he's dead doesn't mean he's a saint."

Buzz Killers:

Racist grandfather Botwin

The near flat-line Bubbie

Annoying brat next door

Real-life Parallels:

The prick relative who would make one rather be homeless than live with.

Weeds 101 — what we learned about weed on this episode:

BURNING QUESTIONS
Unanswered questions, speculation, rumors, theories, cliffhangers? Add 'em here or post a comment below.

What's up with all the birds? I'm guessing the obvious would be they're symbols of Nancy's **** following her down to San Diego from L.A. despite her trying to "get away" and start over. The failure of the geographic cure.

WEEDS SOUNDTRACK
Catalogue the tracks from this episode:

Weeds theme song, "Little Boxes," performed by: Malvina Reynolds

Other musical highlights: "Se Puede" by Los Mono

MUSIC APPRECIATION
Are you a fan of the bands featured on this episode? Create a perfect playlist of songs for others to discover:

EPISODE VIDEO & PHOTOS

Add a caption

Back to Weeds Season 4

Next: Weeds Episode 2, "Lady's a Charm" ►

See also: Weeds Season 1 | Weeds Season 2 | Weeds Season 3 | Weeds Season 5

Episode 2: Free Goat

jewelry-1 — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 02:46:03 CDT

Psst, hey you, Weeds Junkie...

Click EasyEdit to help build the Weeds episode guides!

EPISODE INFO

Episode title: Free Goat

Episode number: 2

Original air date: 8-15-2005

Directed by:Brian Dannelly

Written by: Jenji Kohan

Guest Star(s): Renée Victor (Lupita), Indigo (Vaneeta), Andy Milder (Dean Hodes)

RATE THIS EPISODE

Episode synopsis: Nancy and her children suffer from a lack of funds in the household. Doug Wilson mentions the idea of starting a cover business to protect Nancy's real source of income. Celia confronts her husband's mistress.

HOW'S BUSINESS?

What happened?

While waiting for a the choreographer to finsh his class, Nancy overhears Alison and Maggie gossiping about Dean Hodes' affair. After class lets out, Isabel is surprised to see Celia instead of the nanny, Blanca. Celia explains that Blanca is takling Quinn to the airport and that Quinn is going to Mexico. Nancy sells a bag to the dance teacher and is then told by Shane that her last check for the karate class bounced. The stark reality of being broke begins to take hold.

At Doug Wilson's office, Nancy is hit in the face with a Roomerang. She tells Doug that she is broke and that she can't believe she trusts an idiot with her money. Doug informs Nancy, "I am an idiot savant. Say what you want about me personally, but I am a great fu@#ing CPA." Doug then sets up a fake business front for Nancy to launder money through. When asked if her fake business could become her real business, Doug tells Nancy, "in this economy, small businesses are fu@#ed." To assuage Nancy's financial fears, Doug promises Nancy at least five customers at tonight's poker game. When asked if she can get and advance, Doug says he's out of money but promises he will get some at the ATM later.

Back home Nancy tries to use the phone, but is told the phone is dead. Nancy bribes Silas with $50 if he doesn't give her any grief over it. Silas asks if Nancy saw Quinn's mom, and if Nancy said anything about catching them sleeping together. When Nancy asks why, Silas tells her that he hasn't heard from Quinn and that she wasn't at school that day. Nancy tells Silas that she overheard Celia mentioning Quinn going to Mexico. Silas then becomes angry at Nancy, believing that Quinn had been trying to call him, but couldn't because of the unpaid phone bills. Upset, he throws down Nancy's bribe money and goes back upstairs. Nancy is remind by Lupita that she wasn't paid last week. Nancy is losing more, and more money.

Shane sits upon the roof lattice on the patio watching a video of his 10th birthday on his camcorder. In the video he comes into his "so-called" parents' room.Shane ponders aloud if he has received his UFO blimp, night-vision binoculars, and/or Shaolin Soccer DVD as his birthday presents. When the camera is turned on Judah, he prods Nancy and asks her to show Shane her strecth marks. Saving presents until later, Judah says that Shane was not born until 4 in the afternoon. When asked by Shane if they think he's weird, both his parents reply, "yes." Judah adding, "but you're awesome. You know, I wouldn't trade you in for any other almost 10-year old on Earth." Even when Shane asks about the possibility of an amazing 10-year old boy from another planet, Judah asks, "why would I trade down, man? To me, your the best, dude. You are the amazing, unbelievable Shane Botwin." Shane is shown replaying that final line over, and over.

As Dean and Celia Hodes brush their teeth and make idle chit chat, Celia fumes over finding out about Dean's affair. Dean tells her that he's going to take some Ambien, as he needs a good nights sleep. After Dean heads to bed, Celia gets out her hidden pack of cigarettes to wait until Dean is fast asleep. Hair clippers in hand, Celia asks Dean if he is awake. In the morning a bald headed Dean is asked by Isabel, "did your hair go to boarding school in Mexico, too?"

Silas confronts Celia at school about Quinn. Asking who told Celia that they sex, he finds out that Quinn was sent away for something else and that Celia didn't know they had sex. Silas then demands to know where Quinn is. When he says that he loves Quinn, Celia retorts that it wasn't love, just sex. Celia informs Silas that Quinn had a day and a half and decided to download 2,000 songs and dye her hair pink with black tips instead of telling Silas goodbye. She finishes the confrontation saying, "all that Quinn cares about, is Quinn. She takes after her father that way."

Over at Heylia's house, Nancy watches Heylia and Keeyon play dominoes. Conrad chides Heylia for not explaining the terminology to Nancy. Heylia infers that Conrad is looking up porn on the laptop. Conrad excitedly announces that he's bidding for new rims on e-bay and Vaneeta makes fun of Conrad buying nice rims for his broken down, steering wheel-less car. Conrad reminds her that he already bought a steering wheel. Nancy then asks Celia what kind of loan options Heylia has. Heylia replies, "this ain't Macy's. You get what you pay for." Vaneeta suggests Nancy's shoes as collateral. Heylia instead suggests Nancy's wedding ring, but, because of sentimental value, says that she'll accept Nancy's car instead. Heylia lends Nancy Conrad's "bucket" (car) until Nancy can pay the full amount back to Heylia.

Later that night at Doug's office, Nancy makes some deals. After spending all their poker money buying pot from Nancy, Doug suggests they all get high and make fun of Dean's bald head. Nancy sees Celia sitting in her car with binoculars in the parking lot. She tells Nancy that she's been following Dean. Nancy tells her that Dean's playing poker. Celia bemoans that Dean will be coming home reeking of marijuana. Celia then tells Nancy that she knows that everyone else knows about Dean's affair. She also says that "Jesus loves you" Judy orders OxyContin over the internet. When asked about where her car is, Nancy doesn't want Celia to know that she doesn't have her car. She feigns being lost. Relieved that Dean is not busy having an affair, Celia says that she is heading home and watching The Shield because she loves Michael Chicklis.

When Nancy comes home to a silent Silas, Lupita says Silas has been acting like this since he got home from school. Shane is back up on the patio lattice watching video of him and his father. Nancy asks Silas if he wants to talk. She then apologizes for the way things have been at the house. Awash in her own problems, Silas catches Nancy off guard when he opens up saying that he now realizes that Quinn didn't really care about him. Suddenly, there is a thump followed by Shane calling for Mom. Shane has fallen and broken his arm.

At the doctors office Nancy waits to pay and is hassled by a crazy man named Mr. Norman. The man claims that Nancy stole someone's goat, that she had no right to, and that it was a "free goat." (Hence, the name of the episode). When Shane begins to complain about the pain, the crazy man makes fun of Shane. Nancy threatens the man to back off or else she'll shove his free goat up his ass. Confused, the man asks, "what goat?"

The next day Heylia informs Nancy that her payment is "lighter than Michael Jackson light." When told that Shane had to go to the hospital last night, Heylia says she's sorry to hear that and then asks again where her money is. Nancy promises Heylia she'll pay her back, but she needs more inventory. Heylia tells Nancy that she must now leave her wedding ring as collateral since she has a worthless watch and buys knockoff handbags. Heylia says she knows Nancy is having a hard time, but "tough sh@#." Nancy then ask Heylia about cover businesses. Nancy decides to leave her wedding ring as extra collateral. When Vaneeta asks how much Heylia thinks they might get for the ring, Heylia replies, "nothing. She'll be back."

Celia decides to finally face the tennis coach that Dean was having his affair with. The tennis instructor says that they should not fight at the tennis courts, but should instead talk over drinks. Celia reluctantly agrees. At the bar, Celia berates the tennis instructor as the two discuss why men cheat. Celia says that she is disappointed with her marriage to Dean. The tennis coach says that Celia is lucky to have Dean, and that Celia should forgive him. After insulting the tennis coach a few more times, Celia orders them a round on her.

Later, Celia pulls up beside Nancy at a stoplight. Celia shouts hello over the loud noises of Conrad's car. Celia notices that Nancy isn't wearing her wedding ring. Nancy says that it is in the shop. Celia says nothing about Nancy driving in a beat up old car, possibly believing that Nancy pawned the items out of desperation.

Back home Nancy sees the camcorder lying on the patio floor where he fell. Turning it on, she watches some of the video. Judah is shown saying to Shane, "we can fix this. Everything is okay, buddy. You got that, mom? Yeah! Dad made it all..." Nancy angrily hurls the camcorder at the wall. Shane, hearing the commotion comes out. Seeing the pieces, he asks what happened to the camcorder. Nancy replies that it must have broken when Shane fell, but she'll get a new one. Reluctantly, Shane agrees that it must have broken when he fell and retrieves the video tape.

At the Hodes household, Celia offers Dean and Ambien. Dean, mindful of his lost hair, is fearful that he is being set up. Celia tries to convince him that she's not going to do anything horrible and takes an Ambien herself as proof. Dean is confused by her sudden forgiving mood.

Shane has taped the camcorder back together and is once again watching videos of his father. In the video, Shane sits inside a tent while he and Judah re-enact a scene from Star Wars and lightsaber duel with flashlights. Nancy is heard in the background nagging at Judah, "get back here right now. We are not done talking." Shane advises his dad to, "just say good night, dad and turn off the camera." Judah turns the camera towards himself, "good night, dad."

"Oh, sh@#! moments: ----

Nancy's new tricks of the trade: ----

Fierce competition: ----

Money ins and outs: ----

NANCY'S ASSOCIATES & BUYERS

Boyer Beachwood
Dance Teacher

Dean Hodes
Lawyer

Doug Wilson
CPA, City Council Member

Doug's poker buddies
NA

Heylia James
Weed Dealer

Conrad Shepard
Weed Dealer, Closet Breeder

FAN FEEDBACK

Show Highs:

Celia shaving Dean's head while he was asleep.

Choice Quotes:

I know you stole that goat! Goat theif! He was a free goat

I'm gonna take your free goat and shove it up your ass!

Buzz Killers:

Celia confronting the mistress.

Quinn gets sent to "boarding school" in Mexico

Real-life Parallels:

Nancy doesn't have the money to pay for Shane's Karate classes.

Shane is depressed,

Weeds 101 — what we learned about weed on this episode:

You better know what you are really buying before you slap money on the table.

BURNING QUESTIONS
Unanswered questions, speculation, rumors, theories, cliffhangers? Add 'em here or post a comment.

WEEDS SOUNDTRACK
Catalogue the tracks from this episode:

Weeds theme song, "Little Boxes," performed by: Malvina Reynolds

Other musical highlights: --

MUSIC APPRECIATION
Are you a fan of the bands featured on this episode? Create a perfect playlist of their songs for others to discover:

Sufjan Stevens

EPISODE VIDEO & PHOTOS

Shane watching old videos of his dad.

"Good night, dad."

Episode 7: He Taught Me How to Drive By

goolyclouds — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:27:14 CDT

◄ Back to Weeds Season 3

Psst, hey you, Weeds Junkie...

Click EasyEdit to help build the Weeds episode guides!

EPISODE INFO

Episode title: He Taught Me How to Drive By

Weeds Season 3

Episode number: Episode 7

Original air date: 9/24/07

Directed by: Paul Feig

Written by: Matthew Salsberg

Guest Star(s): Matthew Modine and Mary-Kate Olsen

RATE THIS EPISODE

Episode synopsis: Nancy makes a deal for her future following U-Turn's death. Doug has everyone against Sullivan but Celia, who is more interested in him than ever. Andy is recommended for a unique catering job: a porn movie shooting in the neighborhood. Shane has trouble fitting in at school, but finds hope when he sees his "saviour" is Amelia. Meanwhile, Silas continues to spend time with Tara.

HOW'S BUSINESS?

What happened? --

"Oh, sh@#! moments: ----Peter's body resurfacing. Watch out Nancy!

Nancy's new tricks of the trade: ----

Fierce competition: ----The Tres Seis

Money ins and outs: ----

NANCY'S ASSOCIATES & BUYERS

Name
Occupation

FAN FEEDBACK

Show Highs:

Nancy, Conrad and Heylia are freed from U-Turn and Marivn

Isabelle has a sneaky plan to get Amelia

Choice Quotes:

he taught me how to drive by

we broke our car-jacking cherry together.

Buzz Killers:

having peter's skeleton being found in the culvert/sewage drain at the construction site

Real-life Parallels:

Weeds 101 — what we learned about weed on this episode:

some times we have to all deal with the devil

BURNING QUESTIONS
Unanswered questions, speculation, rumors, theories, cliffhangers? Add 'em here or post a comment below.

Who were the two female pornstars in this episode?
Will Shane and Amelia become an item (and will Gretchen make a later appearance to beat her up)? If not, will Amelia and Isabelle?
How will Nancy react once the body of Peter Scottson is discovered?
How will Nancy stay Princess of the weed game with the Tres Seis around?
NANCY started wearing black, wrap sunglasses in this episode, , continues to next..... WHAT ARE THEY??

WEEDS SOUNDTRACK
Catalogue the tracks from this episode:

Weeds theme song, "Little Boxes," performed by: The Individuals

Other musical highlights:
-- End credits song by Mr Smolin (www.mrsmolin.com), titled "the earth keeps turning on". From the LP At Apogee.
-- Living In The Spirit - Ray Greene
-- Evil (Eaten at My Soul) - Future Pidgeon
-- Es Tiempo - TNS

MUSIC APPRECIATION
Are you a fan of the bands featured on this episode? Create a perfect playlist of songs for others to discover:

SEASON 3 EPISODE VIDEO & PHOTOS

Add a caption

◄ Back to Weeds Season 3

Weeds Quotes

mamaba — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 13:20:39 CDT

◄Back home to: Weeds on Showtime

Burning to share Weeds quotes?

Can't believe half of the lines you hear on Weeds? Those are the best lines to share! So divvy out your favorite Weeds quotes to the rest of us, friends! Add the best zingers, laugh-out-loud lines, outrageous banter and memorable quotes to their respective seasons below.

Weeds Quotes Season 5	Weeds Quotes Season 4	Weeds Quotes Season 3	Weeds Quotes Season 2
Weeds Quotes Season 1

◄Back home to: Weeds on Showtime

Kat

ediXo — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 13:19:55 CDT

Hey, Weeds Junkies!

Click the EasyEdit to help build the wiki guide to
all your favorite characters from Weeds!

(Don't see the EasyEdit button? Sign in or sign up.)

ABOUT Kat Wheeler

Played by: Zooey Deschanel

Nicknames: ----

Alias: Libby Cookstein

Occupation: ----

Signature look: ----

Family: ----

Strengths: ----

Weaknesses: ----

Kat's story: ----

Talk about Kat

RELATIONSHIPS

ROMANCES/FAMILY

Andy Botwin
Backstory: Andy met Kat in Alaska (after the sun went down) and she tried to bring him up on charges. So after he stepped on her Sprit Turtle and she stabbed him, Andy quickly left Alaska to go live with Nancy and the boys. After Andy had his toes bit off by a dog, Mr. Sweaters. Kat found him on the internet and quickly jumped into a stolen car to see him. She wrote a book and needed Andy to sign everything she worte was true and also she had an Alasken Bounty hunter after her.

Name
Backstory: ----

FRIENDS & ASSOCIATES

Shane Botwin
Backstory: Kat met Shane when she came to see her old lover Andy. Shane wasdrawn to Kat (most likely because of his distant mother) so when Kat could not get Andy to go "on the run" from the Alaskan Bounty hunter named Bare, and told Shane to drive home, but to practice in the parking lot first.

Name
Backstory: ----

CHARACTER QUOTABLES

(Nancy opens the door) Kat: "Kat!" Nancy: "You lost your cat?" Kat: " I'm Kat. You're Nancy, right?"

Kat: "Are you attracting lesbian vampires?"" Nancy: "What?" Kat: ***** cat having a nose bleed?...Big Red?...Shark week?...Aunt ruby in town?" Nancy: "Are you asking if I'm having my period?" Kat: "We'er cycling together, isn't that cool?"

Nancy: "You drove here all the way from Alaska?" Kat: "Yeah, I borrowed aome salmon from the fishery..." Andy: "That means she stole it." Kat: "The man at the 7- Eleven gave me a case of Red Bull..." Andy: "...And that means she stole it." Kat: "And that's all I've been eating and drinking for the past 47 hours, I feel great!"

Kat: "I'm a part of this family!" Nancy: "Just because you are crazy, and we are crazy doesn't mean we're related."
" Heart Hug!"
Gretchen: "Will you stop hitting on my boyfriend?" Kat: "Hold him too tight and he'll turn to dust." Gretchen: "Bite me." Kat: "Okay. Gloves off. you want a piece of me?" (Clawing and making feline sounds)

Kat: " It's now or never. Come with me. I can't be alone and you're my favorite person on Earth." Andy: "I can't do it, Kat." Kat: "Fine, **** you. give me your van keys." Andy: "You can't have my van!" Kat: " I'm just gonna steal it anyway. Andy: "Fine."
Andy: "You know, I haven't forgotten how you stabbed me screaming "die, ********, die." Kat: "You stepped on my sprit Turtle!"
(To Shane) "We'll Met again. I'll be older, but I'll still be hot. And you'll be older and you'll still be the same smart, wise, gentle soul you are now. But you'll be taller. and I think that you're gonna do some really interesting things with your facial hair. I just see it. Okay sweetie? Heart hug. Heart hug."

FUN FACTS

Click EasyEdit to add interesting trivia or observations about Kat (cite relevant episode, if possible).

Episode 5.1 Wonderful Wonderful

mamaba — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 13:19:19 CDT

In the first episode of season 5, you really get a good look at Esteban's character and how serious his entire operation is about secrecy and also about rats/ Nancy goes to a doctor in Mexico that has been chosen by Esteban to examine her to determine whether or not the baby is his and if it is male or female. Obviously Esteban wants a boy to carry on his name and let's face it, most big wigs like that do want a male heir around to take after their old man, which in this case would be drug Kingpin. However, the Botwin family finds out in this episode of Nancy's pregnancy, and Nancy also learns of Andy's love for her. Doug and Silas have come up with an idea to grow pot in a national forest which ulitmately turns out to be a very bad idea.

◄ BACK: Weeds Season 4

BACK TO: Weeds Season 5

NEXT: Weeds Episode 5.2, "Machete Up Top" ►

EPISODE 5.1 "WONDERFUL WONDERFUL"

Episode number:

5.1

Season:

Weeds Season 5

Original air date:

June 8, 2009

Written by:

Directed by:

Guest star(s):

Episode synopsis:

RATE THIS EPISODE

◄BACK HOME: WEEDS Wiki on Showtime

HOW'S BUSINESS?

	What happened?
	"Oh, sh@#! moments:
	Nancy's new tricks of the trade:
	Fierce competition:
	Money ins and outs:

NANCY'S ASSOCIATES & BUYERS

Name
Occupation

FAN FEEDBACK

Show Highs:

Choice Quotes:

"I've been thinking - just because you've been a slutty, irresponsible, slutty, slut who had unprotected sex with a Mexican gangster, that doesn't mean that we can't be friends." - Andy*

Buzz Killers:

Real-life Parallels:

Weeds 101 — what we learned about weed on this episode:

BURNING QUESTIONS
*Unanswered questions, speculation, rumors, theories, cliffhangers? Add 'em here or post a comment below.

WEEDS SOUNDTRACK
Catalog the tracks from this episode:

Weeds theme song, "Little Boxes," performed by:

Other musical highlights:
"Say Hey" by Michael Franti and Spearhead (Flash Mob Scene)

MUSIC APPRECIATION
Are you a fan of the bands featured on this episode? Create a perfect playlist of songs for others to discover:

EPISODE VIDEO & PHOTOS

Add a caption

◄ BACK: Weeds Season 4

BACK TO: Weeds Season 5

NEXT: Weeds Episode 5.2, "Machete Up Top" ►

SEE ALSO: Weeds Season 1 | Weeds Season 2 | Weeds Season 3 | Weeds Season 4

Silas Botwin

alexandergould#1fan — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:37:38 CDT

ABOUT SILAS

Played by: Hunter Parrish

Nicknames: Silbot

Alias: Judah (fathers name)

Occupation: High School Student---Part time salesman

Family: The Botwins

Strengths: -Great salesman

Weaknesses:-Emotional attachments/Women

Silas' story: Thinks he needs to prove he can take care of his family

Talk about Silas

RELATIONSHIPS

FAMILY: The Botwins

Nancy Botwin
Mother
What we know about their relationship: Nancy sometimes doesn't know what to do with Silas, especially when he was going through his rebellious stage. Silas was adamant from Season 2, when he found out that his mom was a dealer, that he wanted in. At first his attempts were unsuccessful, but after he was sentenced to 6 months of community service for stealing Ceila's security cameras and signs for a drug free zone. Nancy realizes he will keep trying to be a part of the business and under pressure with Peter's ex partner keeping an eye on her, She finally gives in which opens up a whole new market for her business.

Shane Botwin
Kid brother
What we know about their relationship: From the beginning, Shane and Silas seem to be pretty close for brothers, though of course they do have their disagreements. Even though Silas sometimes sees Shane as the annoying kid brother, he would do anything to protect him. Silas was the first one to suggest to Shane th

Andy Botwin

Uncle of Silas Shares feelings of being left out of business

Judah Botwin
Father
What we know about their relationship:----

ROMANCES

Quinn Hodes: Daughter of Ceila Hodes Only in the first episode of the series and not mentioned much afterward. Quinn and SIlas are caught having Sex and soon after shipped off to a All Girls Private School.

Megan
Backstory:We first hear about Megan from Ceila in a comment to Nancy about rumors she gives good head. A few episodes later we meet her in a abandoned house with Silas she is spray painting the rumor herself, after Megan spray paints Silas' penis blue, they started dating. The fact that Megan was deaf didn't put him off and this was the first girl that Silas really loved. They broke up for a while as Silas was convinced by his "friends" that other girls were better. They eventually got back together after Silas told her he was being an *******. Throughout their relationship however they disagreed many times, resulting in one walking away from the other but they would reconcile pretty quickly. Once Megan found out she was pregnant, Silas was ecstatic, even though they were young, he thought they had a change to make it work. Megan's parents disagreed and forced her to go to an abortion clinic. Megan's dad wouldn't let Silas see her which resulted in Silas breaking into her house and stabbing her father with glass and her father punching Silas. They have not seen each other since.

Tara Lindman
Backstory: Silas met Tara at a bingo night at the elderly home and the next day they got high and kissed. Even though Tara is a devout Christian she likes to get high, declaring that God wants her to smoke pot because it was made by him. She soon starts dealing for Nancy and becomes Top Seller. Soon after Silas finds out she is seeing another guy and wants her out of the business, of course Nancy refuses. He tries to mend the relationship but soon realizes that they were too different. It all comes to an end on the Final episode of season 3 when she runs into a burning House to save a cross. Silas declares he is so "over her" when he sees her on the news answering the question, "Why did you risk your life going into that building?" She replies, "Jesus told me to do it."

FRIENDS

Name- Sanjayc
Occupation
Backstory: ----

Name- Conrad Shepard
Occupation
Backstory: ----

CHARACTER QUOTABLES

Click EasyEdit to add your favorite Silas quotes (cite episode, if possible).

"Why do you have a home pregnancy test?" (s02e05)
"Mom, what you do and all, I'm cool with it."

Nancy:"How did this happen?" Silas: "You don't want to know." Nancy: "Oh but I do!" Silas: "If I had to bet on it I'd say it was weeks ago, my room, doggy style, when I pulled out the condom was gone. Megan has really strong muscles, must have sucked the thing right off...... Nancy: ".....Ah ah ah stop stop stop!" Silas: "You asked. You want to be the cool Mom." (S02e5)
"The good Christian people of Agrestic like to get baked.
Early on, soon after Shane had crashed throgh in the Botwin's (Nancy's) bedroom, Nancy caught Silas and Megan in her bed together. Nancy said she would not have this going on under her roof, to which Silas replied, but Mom, there is no roof.
"Hay mom, I just wanted to let you know that next year I'm dropping out of school and moving to New Jersey."
(to Nancy) " You may not take 'em, but you sure do sell 'em."
Silas: "Come on! Think of the time this will save us on foreplay. All you have to do is wisper "shoot me in the optimum kill zone" and i'll be good to go." Quinn: "I could whisper linoleum and you'd be good to go."
(Written in Graffiti on a wall) " I'm sorry. P.S. My maid thinks I ****** a Smurf."
Silas: " I'm never getting married, it's death. Andy: "You're a little young to have reached that conclusion." Shane: "How come you're not married, Uncle Andy?" Andy: "Because it's death."
"All women are evil lying *******, but I'm trying to be the good big brother here, so when she kicks the **** outta your heart, i;ll buy you a beer with my fake I.D."
Silas: (on the phone with Nancy) "Hi Nancy." Nancy: (while U-Turn and the Armenians are pointing their guns at her) "Hi... did you take something that doesn't belong to you?" Silas: "I want in." (Nancy sighs, Silas has all her weed in the back of his car, Celia arrives in a police car.) Celia: "That's him! That's the little ****** who stole my cameras! Arrest him!" Silas: "****" (Silas hangs up. Nancy has to hang up too, Five guns pointing at her...)
Silas: " I'd like my phone back." Nancy: "No, as I told you. Coming with me to the growhouse tomorrow." Silas: "Should I be excited about this, or is this like, punishment?" Nancy: "This is also like, a way to learn about a business from the ground up. Literally. This is also like, a way to keep you occupied so you don't, like go off and do something else, like, stupid. Like, get it?"
"Yeah, sure, death is no big deal. Because life is just blah, blah, blah."
Nancy: what the hell am i gonna do with Shane? Silas: Take him to a shrink. Should've done it years ago. He's f**kin nuts" (season 3, episode "protection")

FUN FACTS

Click EasyEdit to add interesting trivia or observations about Silas (cite relevant episode, if possible).

Weeds Videos Season 5

smiletelma — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 08:36:33 CDT

Back to: WEEDS Wiki on Showtime

SEASON 5: WEEDS VIDEOS
Check out Showtime's Season 5 videos, including Kevin Nealon's video diary and more!

Wanna add your favorite Weeds videos?

Click EasyEdit to post them here!

(Don't see the EasyEdit button? You need to sign in or sign up.)

Where: Weeds video diary, part 1, Season 5

What: Kevin Nealon's personal tour of the Weeds set.

Where: Weeds video diary, part 2, Season 5

What: Kevin Nealon shares a behind-the-scenes look at shooting a scene for Weeds.

Who: Kevin Nealon

What: Former SNL star Kevin Nealon gives his comedic take on stupid phrases, and being a first-time father in this new standup special.

Who: Kevin Nealon

What: Kevin gets a little tense before his performance. Excerpt from Now Hear Me Out. Catch the premiere only on Showtime: Friday, September 4th at 9:30PM ET/PT.

Who: Kevin Nealon

What:Kevin talks about how he isn't a confrontational person. Excerpt from Now Hear Me Out. Catch the premiere only on Showtime: Friday, September 4th at 9:30PM ET/PT.

Who:

What:

◄Back to: WEEDS Wiki on Showtime

Episode 8: MILF Money

toronto1969 — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 20:46:41 CDT

Psst, hey you, Weeds Junkie...

Click EasyEdit to help build the Weeds episode guides!

◄ Back to home: Weeds Season 2

EPISODE INFO

Episode title: MILF Money

Weeds Season 2

Episode number: 8

Original air date: 10-2-2006

Directed by:Craig Zisk

Written by:Shawn Schepps

Guest Star(s): Martin Donovan (Peter Scottson), Maulik Pancholy (Sanjay), Andy Milder (Dean Hodes), Snoop Dogg (as himself), Indigo (Vaneeta), Page Kennedy (U-Turn)

RATE THIS EPISODE

Episode synopsis: It's harvest time. Nancy and Conrad make their first sale — to SNOOP DOGG — and everything looks good, until Peter lets Nancy know that the DEA has got to make a bust. Heylia learns of Conrad's betrayal.

HOW'S BUSINESS?

What happened? --

"Oh, sh@#! moments: ----
--Snoop Dogg makes a song about "MILF weed"
--Heylia feels betrayed by Conrad.

Nancy's new tricks of the trade: ---- Nancy and the gang grow their own strain

Fierce competition: ---- Heliyas business.

Money ins and outs: ----

NANCY'S ASSOCIATES & BUYERS

Name U-Turn
Occupation "Gangsta"

Name Snoop Dogg
Occupation Rap Artist

Name
Occupation

FAN FEEDBACK

Show Highs:

Choice Quotes:

Dane to Celia about her anti-drug speech. "And good luck with that speech, because kids just love to be patronized and lectured."

Buzz Killers:

nancy going on a shopping spree and buying herself a toyota Prius

Real-life Parallels:

Weeds 101 — what we learned about weed on this episode:

If you send love vibrations to the plant while it is still growing, the person that smokes it will "feel the love" that you sent. :)

BURNING QUESTIONS
Unanswered questions, speculation, rumors, theories, cliffhangers? Add 'em here or post a comment.

Where can I buy that Snoop Dog song MILF WEED???

WEEDS SOUNDTRACK
Catalogue the tracks from this episode:

Weeds theme song, "Little Boxes," performed by: --

Other musical highlights: --

MUSIC APPRECIATION
Are you a fan of the bands featured on this episode? Create a perfect playlist of their songs for others to discover

i have the artist on my iPod, and it's on the season 2 sound track, the song is 'it's all good"

WEEDS SEASON 2 EPISODE VIDEO & PHOTOS

Add a caption.

◄ Back to home: Weeds Season 2

Episode 5: Mrs. Botwin's Neighborhood

toronto1969 — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 23:48:33 CDT

Psst, hey you, Weeds Junkie...

Click EasyEdit to help build the Weeds episode guides!

(Don't see the EasyEdit button? You need to sign in or sign up.)

◄ Back to home: Weeds Season 2

EPISODE INFO

Episode title: Mrs. Botwin's Neighborhood

Weeds Season 2

Episode number: 5

Original air date: 9-11-2006

Directed by: Craig Zisk

Written by: Rolin Jones

Guest Star(s): Martin Donovan (Peter Scottson), Andy Milder (Dean Hodes), Shoshannah Stern (Megan), Allie Grant (Isabelle Hodes), Arthur Darbinyan (Armenian Drug Lord)

RATE THIS EPISODE

Episode synopsis: Nancy must deal with Silas and Megan's pregnancy, as well as the surrounding Armenian mob's encroaching presence on the grow house. Isabelle auditions for "Huskeroo," while Celia prepares for her election debate and tries in vain to get Nancy involved. Heylia prepares for her first date with Joseph. Peter gives Nancy the perfect wedding gift.

HOW'S BUSINESS?

What happened? --

"Oh, sh@#! moments: ----

Nancy's new tricks of the trade: ----

Fierce competition: ----

Money ins and outs: ----

NANCY'S ASSOCIATES & BUYERS

Name
Occupation

FAN FEEDBACK

Show Highs:

Choice Quotes:

I got to save the mother!

Buzz Killers:

Celia grabbing Nancy's hair

Real-life Parallels:

Weeds 101 — what we learned about weed on this episode:

don't go poking holes in condoms, unless you want to get beat up by the person's father.
don't urinate on the mother plant.

BURNING QUESTIONS
Unanswered questions, speculation, rumors, theories, cliffhangers? Add 'em here or post a comment.

WEEDS SOUNDTRACK
Catalogue the tracks from this episode:

Weeds theme song, "Little Boxes," performed by: --

Other musical highlights: --

MUSIC APPRECIATION
Are you a fan of the bands featured on this episode? Create a perfect playlist of their songs for others to discover:

WEEDS SEASON 2 EPISODE VIDEO & PHOTOS

Add a caption.

◄ Back to home: Weeds Season 2

Episode 4: A.K.A. The Plant

toronto1969 — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 22:57:15 CDT

Psst, hey you, Weeds Junkie...

Click “EasyEdit” to help build the Weeds episode guides!

◄ Back to home: Weeds Season 2

EPISODE INFO

Episode title: A.K.A The Plant

Weeds Season 2

Episode number: 4

Original air date: 9-4-2006

Directed by: Lev L. Spiro

Written by: Matthew Salsberg

Guest Star(s): Allie Grant (Isabelle Hodes), Renée Victor (Lupita), Andy Milder (Dean Hodes),Shoshannah Stern (Megan)

RATE THIS EPISODE

Episode synopsis:
With her newly acquired power, Nancy is finally ready to grow her business. Much to Celia's dismay, Isabelle is recruited to model for a plus-sized children's clothing line. Silas and Megan deal with the consequences of their "sex-capade." Andy takes a despondent Shane to a massage parlor for a...happy ending.

HOW'S BUSINESS?

What happened?
In this episode, Nancy takes on an alias to help Conrad with the grow house. By the end of the episode, the grow house is done.

"Oh, sh@#! moments: ----

Nancy's new tricks of the trade: ----

Fierce competition: ----

Money ins and outs: ----

NANCY'S ASSOCIATES & BUYERS

Name
Occupation

FAN FEEDBACK

Show Highs:

Mayor Wilson's (Kevin Nealon) Chinese restaurant wish

Isabelle getting recruited for plus-size modelling

Andy (Justin Kirk) and Shane Botwin's (Alexander Gould) twisted massage parlor act.

Choice Quotes:

Doug Wilson (Kevin Nealon) before sharing a hookah, "Oh, a hookah! Mr. Vakian, the guy that owns this house would always asked me over to share a hookah with him. I always thought he was just some creppy Armenian perv. Now I realize he's just a party brother!"

Rhea (Rhea Kohan, mother of the series creator, Jeji Kohan!) at the massage parlor, "He is 18 with a glandular problem, right?"

GIRL: Look, you’re adorable. But I’m not attracted to you. Sorry.

ANDY: Are you a chubby chaser or something?

GIRL: No - Just I like MEN

Someone BIG and STRONG

Someone who can grow a beard

You’re - pretty

And I could flip you like a pancake

You ask for permission instead of just slamming me up against a wall and f**king me until I come like a volcano

But - We can still be friends, right?

Buzz Killers:

Nancy shoots a gun.

Real-life Parallels:

There were so many girls at my snooty upper middle class high school that had mothers just like Celia's! User name: Sugarboots

Mayor Wilson smoking a hookah reminded me of when I caught my high school English teacher smoking pot at a concert! User name: Sugarboots

Weeds 101 — what we learned about weed on this episode:

Socks are NOT a good substitute for tissue

BURNING QUESTIONS
Unanswered questions, speculation, rumors, theories, cliffhangers? Add 'em here or post a comment.

WEEDS SOUNDTRACK
Catalogue the tracks from this episode:

Weeds theme song, “Petites Boîtes,” performed by: McGarrigle Sisters

Other musical highlights:
-- “Wraith Pinned to the Mist (and Other Games),” performed by: Of Montreal

MUSIC APPRECIATION
Are you a fan of the bands featured on this episode? Create a perfect playlist of their songs for others to discover:

WEEDS SEASON 2 EPISODE VIDEO & PHOTOS

Add a caption.

◄ Back to home: Weeds Season 2

Episode 5: Lude Awakening

toronto1969 — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 16:48:52 CDT

Psst, hey you, Weeds Junkie...

Click EasyEdit to help build the Weeds episode guides!

EPISODE INFO

Episode title: Lude Awakening

Episode number: 5

Original air date: 9-5-2005

Directed by: Lee Rose

Written by: Devon Shepard

Guest Star(s):Shoshannah Stern (Megan), Renée Victor (Lupita), Andy Milder (Dean Hodes)

RATE THIS EPISODE

Episode synopsis: Shane has problems at school again. Celia tries to get rid of her cancer in a non-conventional way and then gives all her belongings away. Nancy experiences her first shoot out and has to bail her brother in-law out of jail.

HOW'S BUSINESS?

What happened? --

"Oh, sh@#! moments: ---- Andy is arrested for possession of marijuana.

Shane's school counselor is concerned over his "gangster raps".

Nancy's new tricks of the trade: ----

Fierce competition: ---- Brother-in-law Andy decides to compete with Nancy for business in Agrestic.

Money ins and outs: ----

NANCY'S ASSOCIATES & BUYERS

Name
Occupation

FAN FEEDBACK

Show Highs:

Choice Quotes:

"Sh@#! White folks get soda pop, ni@#ers get bullets."

"There's no water in this tub!"

"Let your freak flag fly"
"I feel your pain, and I return it with a renewed sense of outrage"

Buzz Killers:

Real-life Parallels:

Weeds 101 — what we learned about weed on this episode:

BURNING QUESTIONS
Unanswered questions, speculation, rumors, theories, cliffhangers? Add 'em here or post a comment.

WEEDS SOUNDTRACK
Catalogue the tracks from this episode:

Weeds theme song, "Little Boxes," performed by: Malvina Reynolds

Other musical highlights:
-- "The Laws Have Changed," performed by: The New Pornographers

MUSIC APPRECIATION
Are you a fan of the bands featured on this episode? Create a perfect playlist of their songs for others to discover:

EPISODE VIDEO & PHOTOS

When faced with cancer, Celia is more tolerable, but less fun.

Weeds Fan Resources

elizabethperkinsfan — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 17:07:34 CDT

Hey, Weeds Maniacs...

The Official Weeds Fansite extends an offer to let members link offsite to other Weeds sites and/or cast member sites. Click EasyEdit to add Weeds links to this page!

Elizabeth Perkins Fan

Mary-Louise Parker Source

http://movies.groups.yahoo.com/group/Mary-LouiseParkerFanpage

Weeds Fans (Blog)

http://movies.groups.yahoo.com/group/Mary-LouiseParkerFanpage

Showtime - Weeds Official Site

Other "official" sites:

http://www.starstyle.com/Home.aspx

Mary-Louise Parker Off-Broadway at Playwrights Horizons

Unofficial Weeds sites:

http://movies.groups.yahoo.com/group/Mary-LouiseParkerFanpage

Elizabeth Perkins Fanlisting - www.elizabeth-perkins.org/fan/

For the Weeds Fiends

http://www.weeds.com.br/forum

Hooked on Weeds - Gallery / Forum
Weeds Video Showcase
SirLinksAlot.com - Weeds Links
SirLinksAlot.com - Mary Kate and Ashley Links

Weeds Quotes Season 2

extremecase — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 02:36:29 CDT

Someone call 911, I've got dog doodie hands

◄Back to: Weeds Wiki

Add your high-larious Weeds quotes from Season 2!
The drama, the dialog, the dealing, the infamous talk from uncle Andy... Season 2 was a ride and the quotes are most notable! Add your favs below, or read 'em and weep with laughter.

Click EasyEdit to post quotes here! (Don't see the EasyEdit button? You need to sign in or sign up.)

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:Its the MILF Weed!!!
Said by:Snoop Dog	Said to:Nancy, Conrad, and Snoop's Crew
Weeds Season 2 Episode: Episode 8

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

Username

*My favorite Weeds* quote**:
Said by:	Said to:
Weeds Season 2 Episode:

◄Back home to: Weeds on Showtime

I missed season 5 finale! WHERE CAN I FIND IT TO WATCH ONLINE NOW?????

butterfly197915 — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 01:16:02 CDT

◄ BACK: Weeds Episode X, "XXX"

BACK TO: Weeds Season 5

NEXT: Weeds Episode X, "XXX" ►

EPISODE # "TITLE"

Episode number:

Season:

Weeds Season 5

Original air date:

Written by:

Directed by:

Guest star(s):

Episode synopsis:

RATE THIS EPISODE

Psst, hey you, Weeds Junkie...

Click EasyEdit to help build this Weeds Season 5 episode guide!

◄BACK HOME: WEEDS Wiki on Showtime

HOW'S BUSINESS?

	What happened?
	"Oh, sh@#! moments:
	Nancy's new tricks of the trade:
	Fierce competition:
	Money ins and outs:

NANCY'S ASSOCIATES & BUYERS

Name
Occupation

FAN FEEDBACK

Show Highs:

Choice Quotes:

Buzz Killers:

Real-life Parallels:

Weeds 101 — what we learned about weed on this episode:

BURNING QUESTIONS
Unanswered questions, speculation, rumors, theories, cliffhangers? Add 'em here or post a comment below.

WEEDS SOUNDTRACK
Catalog the tracks from this episode:

Weeds theme song, "Little Boxes," performed by:

Other musical highlights:

MUSIC APPRECIATION
Are you a fan of the bands featured on this episode? Create a perfect playlist of songs for others to discover:

EPISODE VIDEO & PHOTOS

Add a caption

◄ BACK: Weeds Episode X, "XXX"

BACK TO: Weeds Season 5

NEXT: Weeds Episode X, "XXX" ►

SEE ALSO: Weeds Season 1 | Weeds Season 2 | Weeds Season 3 | Weeds Season 4

The Chart : Nancy

Lwordfan — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 16:54:21 CDT

Nancy Botwin's Relationship Chart
presented by THE OXO EXPERIENCE

Want to have your own chart? Launch the Chart and Join the fun.
The Chart will Let you connect to your friends, flames and flings.

Ready for the OXO.

View the introduction
www.TheOriginalChart.host56.com

Official Website now open
www.oxoexperience.com

Enjoy

Nancy's Flames from Season 1

Caption

Nancy's Flames from Season 2 and 3

Caption

Nancy's Flames from Season 4 and 5

Caption

<<Other Character's Charts coming soon>> :

Smokin' Style Moments

Favorite Pieces:

Most Talked-About Items:

Top 3 Looks from Season 1

Caption

Top 3 Looks from Season 2:

Caption

Top 3 Looks from Season 3:

Caption